I just had a fricken revelation/enlightenment/awakening- whatever it is, i realized something today.
I will start by saying that something Lady Gaga said the other day really had an effect on me (which is, i suppose, how this got me thinking.)
I was watching an interview with her and she said something about how people ask her all time “How do you deal with the struggle of such success and negativity from people and paparazzi and blah blah blah.” She basically said that she is so appreciative of her life and what she lives is no where near a struggle. She talked about how her parents struggled coming to America from Italy with absolutely nothing. She realizes that the things she has to go through is just nothing compared to what her family had to do.
So today, i got to talking with my mother about her parents and my great grandparents and their stories and everything. My great grandfather came to America when he was 17 years old with nothing but a loaf of bread and salami. He had to leave his parents and 4 sisters in their small town (Oriole in Calabria, Italy.) He ended up getting a job and all this stuff and married my great grandmother and never was able to return home to his family until his youngest sister was 48 years old (she was 2 days old the day he left home.) He only went to school until 2nd grade because he had to help his father work. Of course, theres way more to the stories and all but that’s a basic gist.
I have always thought of myself as selfless and appreciative… but i will never again think anything i go through is a fucking struggle. My family had to struggle so damn much for me to be able to live how i do.
Desperate for sleep.
A shine nearly invisible, show me your insides;You had the ability to love the whole time.Why do i feel like we’re moving?One white cloud amongst the grey.The trees sit in silence.
Watch this last fire burn.
There’s so much to remember.
So much still glows.
Underneath my surface thoughts lay so much more than this imagery even beholds.
Oh, you’re awake? I’m awake right now.
Enough has gone on to make me reject this all.
As each glacier breathes, another civilization disappears.
Was i even alive until i stood in Your light?
You’ll never leave my heart, just as You have heard from the very beginning